What would Thanksgiving be if it weren’t for Plymouth Rock, football, and the Macy’s Parade? Probably just a bunch of overfed relatives and corduroy skirts that do nothing for your figure. Oh, and editorial lists reminding you what you have to be thankful for this year.
Hey, just because I blog for a reproduction cabinet hardware company doesn’t mean I can’t get in on the “to be thankful for…” editorial fun. In fact, I’ve come up with a list of almost 10 pieces of Horton Brasses cabinet hardware that will inspire you to pause and be grateful for all that Horton Brasses has added to your Thanksgiving celebration.
1) The Beehive Knob
You will be happy you kept a few extra on hand for family gatherings such as this. The grooved surface provides and improved grip over traditional smooth knobs. Is your 12 year old nephew looking to show off his juggling skills? Forget the tennis balls he brought with him. Now’s the time to recognize his impending manhood and allow him to use the heavy artillery. Just be sure to push the glass coffee table out of the room.
Need to prove your entertaining chops to your mother-in-law, Ms. Wanna-Be Martha Stewart herself? Screw The Beehive Knob onto the end of an unsharpened pencil (I recommend using a #2) and impress everyone with your craftiness. You’ve just fashioned a honey dipper. Can you say “upcycled?”
2) Polished Nickel Latches
Remember when you were a teenager and your aunt would hold an entire conversation with you with spinach stuck in her teeth and you were horrified that she had spinach stuck in her teeth because how could she not know she had spinach stuck in her teeth? Or maybe it wasn’t spinach. Maybe it was a big glob of lipstick on her tooth. I still don’t understand that one. But seriously, as I near forty, I have become the aunt with spinach stuck in her teeth. Like, all the time. Even when I haven’t eaten spinach!
And let me tell you, my husband is no helper. Either he doesn’t notice the spinach stuck in my teeth or he thinks it’s supposed to be there because he doesn’t say anything to me.
Thankfully, you don’t need a husband because you have the polished nickel cabinet latch. This latch will tell you if you have spinach stuck in your teeth so shiny you can use it as a mirror. Do so. In between dinner and dessert, before you serve the coffee and laugh gratuitously at your Uncle Donny’s jokes.
3) Queslett Appliance Pull
Isn’t Thanksgiving great because you get to get dressed in all sorts of autumny clothes. Cable knit sweaters and corduroy skirts and textured tights and turtleneck cashmere. Oh no! You wore all that together? And your sister just bought a new DSLR and thinks she is going to photograph every family moment of coziness? Does this outfit make my butt look big?
Yes, it does. But fear not. The Queslett appliance pull does quite the opposite. It’s hefty brawn is the appliance handle equivalent of dating a line backer. Stand next to it in the family photo and look miniature by comparison.
4) The Bakes Pull
Tired of all the meaningless small talk at Thanksgiving? Want to stir up some meaty political debate at the holiday table but having trouble diverting the discussion from Demi and Ashton’s divorce?
The Bakes Pull allows you to easily segue into a relevant political debate without interrupting the flow of conversation traffic. Just put on your best British accent and say, “Excuse me Goody Amber, but have you noticed this kitchen hardware from Goodman Bakes?” At this point Amber, being only 11 and thus having never read The Crucible, will be rendered speechless by your affect and the adults can then regain control of the dinner conversation.
5) Crescent Pull
No calories, unlike those crescent rolls that went straight to your hips (see #3).
6) Antique Brass Pulls
Is that patina on that bin pull or did your daughter-in-law just all together give up cleaning? This intentionally aged looking hardware finish will send your mother-in-law into a housecleaning tizzy. Enjoy a hard drink while she coyly tries to snoop through your cabinets for the brass polish.
7) Ring Pulls
Who formally entertains these days? Hardly anyone, thus the disappearance of the formal dining room. But you’ve worked so hard on the Thanksgiving meal. Do it full justice and honor your guests with cloth napkins. Pull it together last minute with this cabinet hardware that will do double duty as napkin rings.
8) Forged Iron Knobs
Vegetarians coming to dinner and don’t know what to feed them? Me neither! Fortify their meal with iron and avoid the pasty pallor of malnourished pilgrims at your table.
9) Extra Hardware
Did you order two or three extra knobs and pulls when you did your remodel? Yeah, so did I. What a waste of money since this stuff is solid brass and won’t break. Re-purpose those leftover pieces by creating a centerpiece even Wanna-Be Martha Stewart (see #1) wouldn’t think of.
Fill hurricane glass with the leftover hardware and set it in groupings of three on your dining table. Basically, anything shoved into hurricane glass and grouped in threes equals “décor.”